scripture

welcome to the church of jebus

In the land of israel lived a man named Jebus. God spoke to Jebus and said, Jebus, go to the town of Kek and feed the people, for they are hungry and have been neglected. Jebus asked God, how shall I feed the people when I do not have the money to feed a whole town. God told Jebus, take that bread and that jar and fill the jar with the bread. So Jebus began to fill the jar with bread and he filled it until it was full. Jebus was stunned by this miracle. Jebus obeyed God and headed to the town of Kek. It didn't take long before he arrived in Kek. He spoke to the people, God has seen your hunger and has sent me to releive you from hunger. Jebus then took the bread and the meat and began to feed the people. the people were very happy to have been fed. God then spoke to Jebus, stay in the town of Kek until relief comes. Jebus stayed in Kek for two years when relief for the people came. Jebus left the town of Kek with six diciples, Max, Robert, Timothy, Larry, Sean, and Liam.

One day Jebus and his diciples were walking through the town of Bethlehem when Timothy saw two children a boy and a girl. the boy was about to enter the girl and Timothy said to jebus, look at the children for the boy is about to enter the girl. the diciples told Timothy they are playing with dolls, what do you have on your mind? Jebus then asked Timothy, how long has it been since you have released your seed? Timothy turned red not wishing to tell Jebus. Jebus then spoke to Timothy's penis and spoke, seed of timothy, come out and no longer burden him, come out and relieve him of his stress, come out and make him horny no more. Timothy then came for ten minutes. after he had came Jebus told him, look to those children and tell me what are they doing. Timothy answered they are playing with dolls and other toys. Timothy was shocked at the miracle Jebus has performed for Timothy had came without being touched.

One day in the house of Liam, his friend Nicholas was having a wedding. and they were about to run out of wine. Liam then asked Jebus where they would find wine. Jebus smiled and answered, thou should not panic about the wine. Jebus then told Liam to take eight empty jars and put your hand in them. Liam took eight empty jars and did as Jebus had asked him to. when he put his hand in the jars, the jars began to fill with wine. Liam the presented the wine to the guest and Nicholas proclaimed, You have saved the best wine for last. Liam was happy that he and Jebus were able to make the wedding a happy one.

One day in the Jebus and Max were walking though the village of kempt when they saw a young girl was crying into her father. what has happened? Jebus asked. the little girl spoke, me and my dad were on the lake and by accident i dropped my doll into the lake. the father spoke, we can always get you a new doll. Jebus then told them, i will retrieve your doll. the father laughed. you would have to be quite the swimmer to do a feat like that. Jebus, Max, the father, and the little girl went to the lake where the doll was lost. Jebus then walked on the lake and shocked everyone. the father then leaned over to Max and asked, what kind of man is he? Max answered, your guess is as good as mine. when Jebus got to the center of the lake, he began to decend into the lake. only one minute had passed when Jebus began to ascend from the lake. he walked back over and asked the little girl, is this your doll? the girl happy with excitement told Jebus, this is my doll, the little girl hugged Jebus and they began to head back into town. Max then asked Jebus, what kind of man are you? Jebus answered not a typical one.

One day in the town of Nazareth Jebus was walking with Larry when a soldier ran up to him and asked of Jebus to help his son, he had grown sick and i fear he hasn't have much time. Jebus asked the soldier, i do not need to see your son do i? the soldier replied, i will do anything to help my son and i know you can help him. if you were to tell me to get water for him i will go to where you need me to get it. if there is a type of food he need i will ask you which one. Larry told Jebus, he sounds desperate, we should help him. Jebus answered i do not need to help him. Jebus then turned to the soldier and told him, go home to your son, for your faith has healed him. just then another soldier came up and told the the son has been healed. the soldier happy asked Jebus if he could hug him. Jebus answered, of course. Jebus and the the soldier hugged each other before the soldier went home. Larry asked Jebus, you knew what you were doing the whole time didn't you? Jebus answered that he did.

It was a very sad day for sean as he told Jebus his younger sister has died. take me to her and i shall make her better. Jebus told Sean. did you not not listen to me, she's dead. sean repeated to Jebus. Jebus answered, I have listened and I will bring her back. Sean annoyed took Jebus to his sister's dead body and Jebus spoke to her, rise now sister of sean, be dead no longer. within seconds sean's sister was brought back to life. Sean was shocked and in his shock exclaimed, how did you bring her back. Sean's sister asked the same question. Jebus answered, I didn't do anything, it was god who returned her soul to her body. sean responded, i shall never question you or the lord again.

Robert was in jeruselem fund raising for the temple. he had not raised nearly enough to satisfy the priest. Robert began to cry when Jebus walked up to Robert. what's wrong robert? Robert answered, i have spent all morning raising funds to gods temple and i have only raised five shillings. Jebus the took Robert to an empty jar and told him to put his five shillings into the jar and they will walk to the temple together with the jar. So Jebus and Robert walked to the temple and presented their jar to the priest. when the priest tried to pick up the jar, he couldn't. what did you put in this jar? asked the priest. the priest looked inside the jar and was suprised to see the jar filled with coins. The priest was happy and told robert. surely god is with you and your friend. As Jebus and Robert began to walk out of the temple, robert asked, You are not an ordinary man are you? Jebus answered, i am not.

One day Jebus and his diciples were walking through the village of alec when a mob of people holding stones yelled to Jebus, you are a witch. The diciples of Jebus prepare to defend Jebus, but Jebus told them do not protect me, for this must be done. ran my friends save yourselves, I will explain later. the diciples ran and saw Jebus get stoned to death. The diciples came to a hill and mourned the death of their friend. the next day the diciples get a knock at the door. and Jebus was in their presence. Jebus we thought you died. Jebus answered, I did die and i have come back to tell you why my death was needed. People were destined for hell or heaven, so my death was a sacrifice so that everyone could go to heaven even when they go to hell, because everyone can be redeemed. I must say goodbye to you my friends. Jebus then ascended to heaven and the diciples knew humanity had been saved.